By: Jason Underwood & J.C.

Check out our comic, but more importantly read and learn from the inspirational Ambrose Bierce quote!

Nothing feeds the spirit more than an ole folksy inspirational quote from a dead guy.

Visit Pimp Monkey's Favorite Periodical!!

PIMP MONKEY FACTS!

-He's technically a Chimpanzee.
-He know's American Sign Language.
-He loves bananas and nectarines. 
-He's a pill-head.
-He lost his virginity when he was 14.
-He has 5 times the upperbody strength of a human pimp.
-He's scared of fireworks.
-He's a big fan of sleeping with stuffed animals.
-He eats his bodyweight in powerbars.
-His diatary habits are poor.
-He can't chew gum.
-He has a scar over his left eye that he got while in a knife fight with rival pimp, "Smooth Doug."
-He won the knife fight because of his monkey strength.

AVAILABLE FOR
GRAND OPENINGS OF:

- Supermarkets
- Bait Shops
- Adult Learning Centers
- Auto Zones
- Gas Stations

Anyplace else is out of the question.

INSPIRATIONAL
AMBROSE BIERCE QUOTE!

"Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret."
Ambrose Bierce

(Heavy stuff right? I'm tingling all over right now. I feel like a truck! An indestructable truck-person.)